Inflatable Supermodel Bares All

By David P. Brown

Let’s face it: most guys can’t deny that they’d love to have Britney Spears glued to their junk. But not Joe (Crazy Joe) Manente. Rather, the Inflatable Supermodel frontman prefers to secure the job with staples. But Joe doesn’t just limit his victims to Britney, nor the area of assault to his crotch. The act includes various pop culture starlets, on any given number of body parts. The aftermath is often a gruesome stage, reminiscent of Custer’s last stand. But in the absence of Manente and his theatrical bloodbath, the opportunity arose to focus on those dudes always hanging out in back…what do you call them?…oh yeah: the band.

It is constantly astounding just what the Chico dorms have single-handedly produced over the years: award winning engineers, star athletes, the leaders of America’s tomorrow, and a bunch of young perverts who apparently love to fart down one another’s spines in the brief moments before an interview. It was in these halls, years ago, that guitarist Zach Theiss and bassist Dustin Reed formed Inflatable Supermodel.

“When I met Dustin,” explained Zach, “I had just moved in. He saw me with a guitar, immediately knocked on my door, and delivered his classic line, ‘Hey, you want to be in a band?’ At first, I didn’t. Then we played together a couple of times, and I still didn’t want to be in a band with him.” But eventually, fate took its course and the two formed half of the original, and now two-fifths of the new and improved lineup of Inflatable Supermodel. “It’s all about persistence, baby,” Reed proudly stated, implying sexual conquest rather than musical harmony.

Particularly with the release of their first album, aptly titled Going Places, Inflatable Supermodel just may have all but outgrown their Chico britches. According to Theiss, “We’re basically trying to focus on out-of-town and building a bigger audience out there.” Though doing the LA thing would, in the eyes of many bands, be first priority, this loyal bunch plans to keep their focus directed towards NorCal, particularly, the Bay and Sacramento areas. In addition, “We’ll still keep close ties with Chico,” assured Reed.

In response to the question of time, Theiss felt the desire to recite the clichéd idiom: “We’re going to keep playing as long as we can,” inciting a bad mental image of a 70-year-old Jagger-esque Manente stapling pictures of whatever blond vixen to his now shrunk and shriveled junk.

Normally, it would seem that with all the coarseness, the people would revolt. And sure, there was that one hippie-throwing-a-beer-glass-at-Joe’s-face incident in Lake Tahoe, but overall, fans seem elated by the vulgarity, especially regarding the infamous song “Ripper,” which gives a descriptive account of the desire for anal sex with sorority girls. “There is a specific woman that we’re talking about in that song,” explained surprisingly extroverted drummer Matt Eckhardt. “If there are girls out there that know deep inside that that’s what they are, and they get mad about it, well that’s their own problem and they need therapy,” he stated matter-of-factly. Indeed, there seems no end to what these uncouth potty-mouths can get away with.

But while the band members are known to begin shows in their suits and exit in their boxers, the audience is often first to provide tall-tale material. Inflatable Supermodel reflected on a specific Labor Day Beer Can Beach incident, when 15 bikini babes lined up next to their riverside venue. Theiss nostalgically recalled, “Joe was going down the line and asking each girl their name, where they were from, and their bra sizes...and they all went with it!” Reed expanded: “Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of boobs and naughty spots…and I highly encourage it,” the ex-Coldstone creamer proudly stated.

Though perhaps gimmicky, there’s another element that has led to Inflatable Supermodel’s success: the actual music. Somehow, IS has incorporated a ska effect into their punk that doesn’t suck. Hence, the newest addition to their group: trumpeter Joshua (Shua) Goodale. “It seems conducive to the type of music we play, but I’ll also be doing some backup vocals, as well,” asserted Goodale. Though he has only played live with the band a handful of times, this new element will offer a change of flavor for fervent fans, as well as a guaranteed good time for new listeners.

True, the Inflatable Supermodel MO could likely incite a mob riot. But their filthy antics have somehow resulted in co-ed sing-alongs from spectators, and participatory on-stage dancing (myself included) to a less cagey, punk rock rendition of “Puff the Magic Dragon.” In a day and age where so many bands are taking themselves way too seriously, Inflatable Supermodel opts for the lighter, sarcastic route — the approach that pressures every listener to take the stick out of their ass, or in the case one anonymous sorority girl, to get a bigger stick.

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